McKenna is 1! (almost)

Here is a picture of McKenna before she was born.

I am so sorry, I had to stop typing because I just made myself laugh tears there. Obviously, I am kidding; although this is exactly how I pictured the situation when she was due.

Man, I cannot believe that she is going to be ONE on Wednesday. I must have gone into a coma of momdom in that time because it feels like it was just last week when she busted out. A mommy coma; by the way is where you are alive, breathing, walking, doing the dishes and laundry, but you are in such a state of exhaustion that you remember nothing for long stretches of time. I am quite sure that God does this so that we block out the times when children come running to you with dog poop sculptures, zhu-zhu pet-stuck-in-the-hair, or permanent ''art'' on your Ethan Allen furniture. It is very much like a severe car accident, only we don't get to escape to the hospital.

For the first few months of her crawling stage; I was rushing around taking things away from her before she could stick it inside her mouth. Then, after doing (I don't know how many) finger swipes in her mouth, I realized that she had her own little ecosystem in there. I figured if the Halloween candy that she found hiding since 1977 was able to make it past the lint covered cheerios, a sky blue Crayola chunk, and chewed up receipt from Target that she was harboring in her cheeks for a week, well, that little buddy deserved to be in someone's tummy. You go, you little fuzzy M & M!

Now she is walking. Dear Lord. I am going to run around the house and put up all of the breakable ''nice'' things and redecorate in the Weeble Wobble theme with touches of Lego. I will fill my (now empty) wine rack with stuffed animals. I will tear out the first page of each of my cookbooks just to beat her to it. I will write ''don't write here'' on all of my walls. I will pull all of the toilet paper off of each roll then re-roll them to much better crumpled up roundish kind of rolls that are too big to fit on the bar. I will dust my carpets with plant dirt. I will cut chunks out of the curtains, but only the ones that are not hidden behind large pieces of furniture. I will do all of this because I know it is coming anyway, and I want her to think that she learned all of this from somebody. Maybe then she can finger swipe my mouth, because I think that I found a perfectly good rum ball in the closet from Christmas.

Why do you have quilt ALL the time?

Has anyone here ever been given the guilt-trip for doing your quilting while watching TV? In one of my former lives, when I was young enough to get up from the couch fast enough to answer the phone, I was in a relationship with someone who would get pissed-off if I happened to be hand quilting during a movie. And now, I am old enough, maybe a little crazy over the situation(s), and have a blank page of blogland begging for the attention, to finally defend myself.

WTF. Please explain to me, because maybe I just don't understand, why it is so terrible that I am actually enjoying myself while watching TV? Why are the people who get irritated by this doing absolutely nothing except melting their brain in front of the tube? Is this right? Seriously, think about this. What is wrong with this picture?

Boy, you had better hope that I have something constructive in my itchy hands to keep them busy, because I swear, the next time that someone EVER tries to make me feel guilty about my hobby, I am going to throw them into my trunk with a shovel, plastic bag, and duct tape. Granted, I will probably be butt-tired at that point; and instead of doing something 'drastic', I will just leave them in there for a little while. Give them a few minutes in there to think the situation over. I guarantee that if you do this one step, your honey will let you move the long arm into the living room plus hand over the remote. Let us not forget, ladies, about the whole ''Hell, fury, and woman scorned'' bit. NOTHING makes a man see the light more than a crazy person with sharp tools.

These days, I am very blessed to be married to a man who understands the fragility of my mind; and he is blessed to be married to a woman who loves to watch him play Black Ops on his X Box 360. Tea anyone?

New BOM; and it's FREE to boot!

Molly is one of the Wacky Pack gals that are famous all over the state of Texas (and various other states in the collection of 50). Famous for being the craziest women on the loose with rotary cutters. I am proud and honored to call them friends. You are not allowed to hang out with these girls unless you carry enough money for a weeks worth of fabric and/or bail money.
I still pee like a puppy, so I just bask in their aura.

Anyway! Molly has designed yet another Block of the month called Boot Bash that you are welcome and encouraged to join featuring cowboy boots with each months individual theme. This woman is amazing because she does all of this and cooks too. She is like the Pioneer Woman with a branding iron.



I am really diggin' the January block already, and thinking that I have some great scraps to put together for this one. Maybe I will put together a kit! Go check out her blog, and tell her I sent you. (not that I get any fancy gifts for it, but she would like to know that I am still breathing!)

talk to ya'll soon!

Quilting with Beer Goggles

I have been putting off making this sample simply because I like to ''let it all out'' when I work on applique on a grand scale. I need room to breathe. I need to use a large design wall. I need paper plates. I need to start and finish in one day. I need to give my children away to family members for the weekend. I need a seam ripper.

It is simply amazing what one can accomplish with a seam ripper and beer. I am completely serious. I love the sound of an ice cold can being cracked open and slipped into a quilters beer coozie. My first gulp is by far the most satisfying. Once that is taken care of, little else matters.

I have heard of the mandatory glass of wine to start out your sewing adventure; and I am with you there as well, sister; so go on and choose your poison. As long as you kick back and relax, you can have fun with your project. Quilting with beer goggles helps you choose fabrics that you wouldn't buy on a 75 percent off sale table in the best of quilt shops. You are likely to drop a few stitches without a care in the world. Friends will smother you with compliments on your quilting expertise as you hold your pattern upside down (which is kind of like a map anyway, you understand). You will lose and find, lose and find that needle with your hands, feet, and rear end and feel no pain. You are a goddess. You also have a collection of seam rippers that go beyond the norm, so that when you 'come to' in the morning to that quilt, you can rip it all out again, baby. Because now that you have done this whole thing intoxicated, It should be a walk in the park sober.

Sure your friends will snicker ''Oh, my gosh! Do you even remember what you did last night? You were out of control! You did a reverse applique Baltimore album block with double-knit polyester!'' (which is totally amazing since that was not one of the U.F.O.'s that you brought with you, that you probably actually have)

So, the sample got done. I didn't have to do it intoxicated, just buzzed. That way I could tell you the next day that it's name is Sugar Pop.

Retreat! Retreat!

I am very happy to report (4 months later) that the tulip blocks that I was so stressed out over paid off. The quilt shop's entry in the shop hop received 1st place. I like this because it was chosen by the viewers. If it had been judged, well, we would have had to actually make it flawless. Thank goodness for normal, every-day, wonderful, beautiful, people of quilting.

Now the only thing that I have to stress about is getting my applique class together. I am teaching on the 29th on machine and hand applique. All in one class. My problem is narrowing down all of the information to make it beginner/basic so that I can fit it all into one day. I wish it were the other way around. I wish that I had to try to come up with stuff to fill the hours. Wouldn't it be nice to go home from a class with the newly acquired knowledge of how to use fusible web AND make the perfect Mexican Martini? Or you could learn Texas Hold 'em in a Stack and Whack class. This all kind of makes me wonder what really happens on those quilting cruises.....

Speaking of vacations of sewing bliss, I just completed a quilt retreat weekend at Emilie's Quilt Haus in Stonewall, TX. It. Was. Wonderful. Kay Huffman is the owner/operator along with her husband, Jack. They were fabulous hosts. They also let us see the inside of the one room log cabin that her grandmother was born in. If you don't feel Texan after going there, you might as well give up on the idea all together and leave the state.


Don't you just love the lighting? I had a great view of the Texas hill country. Laughing. Drinking. Sewing. My favorite part was that I didn't have to get up once in the middle of the night to make a bottle or change a diaper.

Mail Call! Mail Call!

Today is a day that made my last few weeks of stress so much better. I no longer have to carry a bottle of Chardonnay to bed with me. So here the story: (excuse) I have been working on applique blocks of tulips for B and B's Fall Frolic Shop Hop...(I know, I know...tulips in the fall...). I don't think that I have ever been so stressed on a deadline in my life. Gray hairs were erupting everywhere. My coffee cup has never been so abused. My sewing machine told me that I need to start paying her per hour now...but with the help of a few angels, my work got done. Unfortunately, I cannot share the picture of the quilt that we worked on until September, but I think that it will be worth the wait (weight) and wrinkles.


The only time that I got to relax (?) was when I got to work on the Posy Needle Case Applique Swap. Then, when I finished, in my zen-like state, I forgot to take a picture of the one that I made. I am a moron. But I hope that the gal I made it for loves it as much as I did making it. I almost had to ''lose'' her information and keep it for myself...(jk, jk). Anyway, so Tina Craig at Seaside Stitches made a needle case for me that fits my personality to a T. (see picture above) Isn't it the cutest?! One of the coolest parts of it is in the inside:

Isn't that just awesome! I love the selvages. So cool, so cool. But O.K., here is another part that I just love so much my toes are curling just thinking about it. She also sent me some scraps! YES! They are lovely, modern, trendy, hip, and I already tucked them into bed tonight because they were tired from the long trip from Rhode Island. (hey it could be worse, I could be a crazy cat lady, but I am allergic to cats so fabric is the next best thing. Right?)

So yah, I have already decided that Tina rocks, even though I have only met her through the mail and a blog, but I would probably scare the hell out of her if I met her in real life. Like a dog meeting a squirrel for the first time. Thank you, Tina, and bless your heart.

EZPZ

Hello all! Happy Fourth of July. Belated of course. Deadlines, holidays and birthdays seem to sneak by me when I am unconscious or not paying attention, so I am celebrating Independence Day today; although, my version of the holiday is about breaking away from my projects which seem to explode in numbers like a gremlin in a swimming pool. I am getting them done. They will torment me no longer. They will succumb to the power of the seam ripper. I can do this. I am the master of my quilts. I am the captain of my sewing room.

Well, the quilt top that you see above is a test for a copy-written pattern that I designed to be very, very simple. It uses three 1 yard cuts of fabric, ending up being crib sized. I know that it is not intricate, but I really designed it for the quilt shop to use for ideas on fabric. Here is the deal: I need a few people that wouldn't mind testing the pattern for me so that I can get some constructive criticism and feedback. I would supply the pattern and the 3 yards of fabric. I only need 3 or 4 people to try it. It is very simple and could feasibly be done in a day. (just the top is required, no layering, no batting, no backing, no quilting). Then, I would require that you send me a picture of the top, and feedback....whaddya think? You are allowed to drink beer while working on this one, folks.