McKenna is 1! (almost)

Here is a picture of McKenna before she was born.

I am so sorry, I had to stop typing because I just made myself laugh tears there. Obviously, I am kidding; although this is exactly how I pictured the situation when she was due.

Man, I cannot believe that she is going to be ONE on Wednesday. I must have gone into a coma of momdom in that time because it feels like it was just last week when she busted out. A mommy coma; by the way is where you are alive, breathing, walking, doing the dishes and laundry, but you are in such a state of exhaustion that you remember nothing for long stretches of time. I am quite sure that God does this so that we block out the times when children come running to you with dog poop sculptures, zhu-zhu pet-stuck-in-the-hair, or permanent ''art'' on your Ethan Allen furniture. It is very much like a severe car accident, only we don't get to escape to the hospital.

For the first few months of her crawling stage; I was rushing around taking things away from her before she could stick it inside her mouth. Then, after doing (I don't know how many) finger swipes in her mouth, I realized that she had her own little ecosystem in there. I figured if the Halloween candy that she found hiding since 1977 was able to make it past the lint covered cheerios, a sky blue Crayola chunk, and chewed up receipt from Target that she was harboring in her cheeks for a week, well, that little buddy deserved to be in someone's tummy. You go, you little fuzzy M & M!

Now she is walking. Dear Lord. I am going to run around the house and put up all of the breakable ''nice'' things and redecorate in the Weeble Wobble theme with touches of Lego. I will fill my (now empty) wine rack with stuffed animals. I will tear out the first page of each of my cookbooks just to beat her to it. I will write ''don't write here'' on all of my walls. I will pull all of the toilet paper off of each roll then re-roll them to much better crumpled up roundish kind of rolls that are too big to fit on the bar. I will dust my carpets with plant dirt. I will cut chunks out of the curtains, but only the ones that are not hidden behind large pieces of furniture. I will do all of this because I know it is coming anyway, and I want her to think that she learned all of this from somebody. Maybe then she can finger swipe my mouth, because I think that I found a perfectly good rum ball in the closet from Christmas.